A few months ago I was at a workshop and we were discussing the generalizations that people often use. Always, never, no one, etc.
The phrase that stuck in my mind was….” Well, she never understands.” I thought to myself, well my mother never does understand… she never understands me, she never understands my choices….. she just does not understand. Over these months I have come to realize…. that in fact my mother does understand, but….. she understands in her way.
For years I have been very frustrated with her because she never sees things my way… we constantly butt heads. Then I came to realize that if she did see this world the way I do, and understand it the way I do…. then she would be me. All these years of being angry at her, but yet, I never gave any respect or consideration for how she sees the world. What right do I have to say that my perceptions and understandings are more right than hers?
Coming to this conclusion then lead me to an even deeper one. There is no way for us to see the world as someone else sees it 100%. There is no way we can know someone’s life or past 100%. Heck, I would even go as far as saying we don’t even know ourselves 100%. So if we don’t know or understand or see the things absolutely the same way someone else does…… what right do we have to judge them and their choices?
Now you might be thinking to yourself, well there is only 1 way to see the world…. grass is green, the sky is blue, water is wet…… it’s a
fact not a perception. I am here to challenge that. When I was in high school I had a friend who was about 5’4″ (approx 162 cm) and I was also dating a guy who was 6’2″ (188 cm). If you asked my friend…. she would describe me as tall, but if you asked my boyfriend he said I was short. It is impossible to be both tall and short at the same time…. but yet, I was, based on their individual perceptions. For the record I am about 5’8″ (172 cm), which I think is average ( guess that makes me extra special, short, tall and average all at the same time =D ).
Everything you see, hear, smell, taste….. is all perception. And, everything you perceive gets filtered through your past, what youwere taught growing up, your beliefs, etc. You probably perceive things in certain ways because of stuff that you don’t even remember. So if you don’t understand why you perceive things the way you do, what right do you have to judge the way anyone else sees things? I say…lets all stop judging and just start living….. life free of judgement is so much more open and joyous!