Sharing life's lessons.

Posts tagged ‘coaching’

Manifesting Life: Learning to Let go

I am a strong believer in the law of attraction, and for the most part I seem to be pretty good at it.  Anything I truly set my mind to, ends up coming into my life. The only exception to this was trying to attract a partner. I tried, and tried, and tried…. for almost 2 years with pretty much no success. I tried various techniques……making a very detailed list of what I wanted, to a very small list and let the universe fill in the rest. Nothing seemed to work at all.

Finally one day I got so pissed off and frustrated, I just screamed at the universe inside my head. “FINE! You don’t want to send me someone that I want then send me someone that I need.” And with that I released the need to know how…the need to decide what that person was going to be like…I just let go. I was so fed up with waiting, that I just let go of the outcome and just accepted what may come.

About a week after I let go, I met someone. He may not be everything that I wanted… but he is certainly everything that I need. I very much wanted someone who would help me grow on my journey and had assumed that would come from someone who is very spiritual. What I didn’t realize is that I am very proficient with being spiritual… what I really need is someone who grounds me. Also, I am in the process of starting my own coaching practice… and this new, science minded man in my life reminded me that there are a lot of people out there who are not comfortable with spiritual language and who still prefer the scientific terminology. I was about to start my new company…and because I am a spiritual person, assumed everyone would understand what I had to say, on my terms…. I was about to alienate a large amount of the population, right out of the gate.

Now… I am not saying this is “the guy”, I have only know him 3 weeks…. but he is, without a doubt, the man that I need  in my life right now.

If you are having trouble manifesting something in your life… ask yourself… is it something you need… or something you just want. The universe is far wiser than you…maybe you just need to let go of what you think you want… and let it give you what you need.

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Who Am I?

Just this past Friday I had an appointment with my life coach and our discussion has led to some interesting discoveries. We were talking about energetic shielding (how to shield yourself from other people’s energy), and I said that I didn’t like doing that. After 33 years of being very sensitive to others moods and having a strong intuition, I felt like I was cutting off one of my senses. She invited me to explore the possibility that after all these years of others influence, that for the first time, I was truly alone with myself. Also, that I should explore who I am without the influence of others.

At first this was a truly daunting task; without the influence of others, I am nothing (or at least that’s how it felt in there). Then I came to realize that without all those experiences with others, I would be nothing. Life is all about learning and interacting with others. This made me happier and I was fine with that for a few days.

Tonight as I was trying to fall asleep, I came to a very profound conclusion. I realized that yes my past helped shape who I am…. but only if I choose to let it. Who I am, is who I choose to be in this very moment. I choose if my past experiences influence my present in positive or negative ways. I choose how I act towards others. If I am being irritated by someone because they are doing “enter whatever here” AGAIN, that is because I am choosing to let it. I could also choose to view the same situation in a calm way.

I leave for you a few beautiful lyrics from a great song, as you think about who you choose to be.

We should think about,
what we got right now,
cause the good things are made up of time.
Smile to your problems,
leave the past behind.
Never forget this.
Find the truth in your soul,
keeping you alive.
Going on from minute to minute.
Don’t shade the future,
with all that’s behind.
Live for today.

Now is Forever – Eiffel 65

What is Trying?

Have you ever heard the expression, “either you do or you don’t, there is no trying”? This expression has always bugged me and I could never  figure out why. Thanks to some recent experiences I finally figured it out . Some one said to me just yesterday… and I am paraphrasing…. what is try, there is no try. You don’t try to get out of a chair, either you do or your don’t. That kind of made sense to me, but then I realized tonight…. as a reasonably healthy young woman with good knees, hips and back… that is really easy for me to say. For me getting out of a chair is simply either I do or I don’t. Then remembered a time when I hurt my back badly. Rolling over in bed was almost impossible, and getting out of a chair was even worse.

To me failing is not when you make an attempt and it doesn’t work, so you try again. To me failing at something, or not succeeding at it, is when you throw in the towel, throw your hands up and just give up and never try again.

Lets re-examine the chair analogy. You have a really bad back, and it restricts some of your movement. You make that effort, get 1/4 of the way to standing up, and your back just won’t stretch. You plunk down in your chair, take a few breaths and then attempt to get up again. You make it to 3/4 of the way this time, but still not quite there. You plunk down again. You haven’t failed yet, because you haven’t given up. Attempt number three, and YAY you make it all the way up. You succeeded!

I spent 5 1/2 years being very depressed, 6+ years with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and it took me a very long time to figure out how to succeed at getting better. When someone tells me there is no trying, it is hurtful and feels like they are negating a lot of the efforts and work I put into getting better.( A small piece of advice to the do or don’t ‘ers out there. Be very careful who you say that to. It can be a great motivator for some but something terribly painful for others.)

By now you may be asking yourself, what then is trying? To me trying….. is the state where you haven’t failed, but you are still figuring out the right way to succeed.

In a simple sense they are correct. In the end, either you did it or you didn’t, but all the value of what you did, or realized that you couldn’t do, came from the trying.

I propose a new quote, one that does not negate people’s efforts.

” In the end, either you do, or you don’t. But the most important value and lessons come from being in the state of trying.”

Of course that is a work in progress. I may refine it, or I might leave it the same. Who knows. All I can do is try it, and see if it will be successful for me.